Today’s IDIC discussion is on a complex subject called gaslighting. Gaslighting happens, especially in the age of the internet when people can literally rewrite their reality. However, there is one truth.

Gaslighting is abuse.

The technical definition of gaslighting is manipulating someone by psychological means to doubt their sanity. The term also encompasses making people question their recollections of events, memories, and thoughts. Gaslighting is typical of abusive romantic relationships, but it is not limited to them.

Anyone can gaslight with any type of relationship. People on the internet do it all the time in the comments sections or through their posts. COVID-19 information is a perfect example of gaslighting, where all the factual information in the world was subject to all manner of comments on how it was a hoax.

Another gaslighting example is the false apology. Again, variations exist, but a common example is “I apologize if my opinion offended you. It’s not a big deal.” This statement is not actually an apology; it’s a manipulation designed to make the reader question their perception of events and judgment.

Other common manipulative phrases include:

• I never said that
• I didn’t mean it like that
• You’re being paranoid
• You’re overthinking everything
• If you were listening…
• You can’t take a joke
• I’m not arguing; I’m discussing
• What does what you just said say about you?

While it’s incumbent on us all to recognize when we accidentally use a gaslighting phrase, it’s also important to recognize when other people use the phrases. Building a better space to communicate relies on us supporting each other and not allowing toxic practices.

Be kind and be supportive of each other, STARFLEET.